Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Lilly, dont be silly

This is a sequel to the previous post on this blog featuring an eminent personality. At this juncture, we must admit with considerable pride that we, the authors of this blog, are surrounded by the most inspiring of characters. Some like the ballscratcher who undoubtedly, deserved the first tribute. Then we have compulsive liars, sexual deviants, perverted drama artistes, and those whose laughter makes you wonder whether you just heard the mating cry of a pig. Of course, the all-time attractions are people who resemble mummified corpses and slimy molluscs.
This week, we feature another 'towering' personality, who with his magnificent Lilliputian presence, sends us all into a temporary trance.

He believes in the supreme power of the tongue. The moment he begins wagging it inside his mouth that resembles a rat's ass, he gets a strange sort of orgasmic thrill. One that can be rated better than a blow job. His passion is blowing his own trumpet. Once he begins, everything else blurs into oblivion and Mr.Lilliput drones on and on, in sheer orgasmic ecstasy as his hapless victims are sent into convulsive epileptic fits. Sources say that some of his victims' jaws had been rendered immobile due to excessive yawning. A close observation of his victims' personal lives has also revealed that they have often suffered bouts of mental derangement. However, scientists are working with him on his enviable ability to cure insomnia.
This in a nutshell, is Mr.Lilliput.

In case a guest comes along, Mr.Lilli gets all excited. He sniffs around the guest, waiting for an opportune moment to start his oral masturbation. If he happens to hear anyone trying to take part in the conversation, talking about anything remotely sensible, he gets restless. It causes an irritating sensation in his ass, which he gets over by way of his verbal diarrhoea. And in this massive sea of shit, we wallow, sometimes drowning in it. But of course there are some faithful mongrels who lick Mr.Lilli's ass so artistically, who would lap up this shit to the last morsel, licking their lips for more.

Measuring about four feet in height, Mr. Lilliput is convinced that he is a descendent of the Great Shakespeare himself. Waxing eloquent about his Anglo Indian good looks and his impeccable accent, Mr. Lilliput has a fetish for branded stuff. Gucci bags for his dim-witted wife and Armani suits for himself, which needs to be reduced many sizes smaller to fit his puny, spineless, disgusting body. What sets him apart from the rest of the shabby looking journos are his spotlessly shining shoes. He takes utmost care to polish them every morning, using everything from spittle to hair oil to make them shine. And, he takes great care in preserving his jaundiced complexion. When he realised that imported sun-screen lotions didn't prevent his smug face from getting sun burnt, he decided to stop venturing out.
Stories of his crowning glory – locks of shimmering golden hair – abound in this office. A sure sign of his Shakesparean legacy!

Thus he walks about, brandishing his tongue at every unsuspecting soul. It is amazing how he inspires his colleagues to shove something sharp up that asshole of his. Now, this prick also suffers from a serious personality disorder. He nurtures delusions of him being the King and owning vast expanses of land in a neighbouring State. In this delusion of grandiose, he treats his dedicated asslickers to his benevolence with a story or two about his great feats. In his kingdom, which he often thinks is the office, his subjects are not allowed to make phone calls, check e-mail or least of all leave office after their work is done.

Terribly vindictive and sadistic in nature, Mr.Lilli can wreak havoc in his subjects' personal lives if he so wishes. And, he almost always thinks he has the last laugh, twitching his browning, used toothbrush-like moustache, revealing a set of decaying, yellow teeth.
And this is Mr.Lilli for you, for the time being.
It is humanly impossible to capture his versatility in one article. So, I sincerely hope readers would wait for more updates on Mr.Lilli's tales of grandiose.


pissed off paparazzi said... this is simply superb, my commerade.I actually wish that silly lilly gets to read it... Both of us need to get better jobs than wallowing in this shithole full of asslickers.

frm the 'shoddy sub-editor'

pissed off paparazzi said...

too cool, waiting for next masterpiece:)