Wednesday, September 5, 2007

To fatso, with love

If you thought there's none to beat Henri Cartier Bresson in photography, you are thoroughly mistaken. Known for his uncanny, almost intuitive ability to be right on the spot when events unfurl, Bresson might have carved a niche for himself in the echelons of world photography.
But, this magnetic personality gives even Bresson a run for his money. He, lovingly called the Fatso, has already carved several niches for himslef in porn photography.
He slings his camera on his rounded shoulders and makes a dash for his weather-beaten Maruti 800 as soon as his sources tip him off on a scoop. He then races at top speed before his subjects disperse.
Coming to subjects, not every one can be a subject for Fatso's all-enduring camera lens. You need to be a woman, well endowed at that and preferrably with dark skin. Excuse the explicitly racial flavour, this reporter is merely writing what the lovable Fatso prefers. He focusses on the right parts of his subject and clicks away in glee. This reporter has even spotted him wetting his slimy lips at one such pursuit.
Thus he lurks around every women's college, hostel and school, waiting to catch the right moment.
His portfolio includes stunning pictures of a hot internee who chose to entertain herself posing for his pictures and an unsuspecting broadcast journalist who was caught unawares by his omnipresent camera lens puffing away in serenity in a quiet corner. Poor soul was soothing her nerves in the middle of a tiring crime story.
He judiciously compiles snapshopt of his black beauties in office and sends them their pictures, much to their happiness.
His professional skills apart, he is also a philanthropist. He brings tid-bits to feed the hungry bitches in office. Makes tea for the boss, his black heart throb and talks to everyone with exceptional humility. He might even touch your feet a couple of times during the conversation.
He brings along a cart load of books to office. He gazes at the pictures for hours on end and smiles. Poor Fatso, thats one thing he cannot do to save his life. Read.
For everyone in the office, Fatso is friend, philosopher, guide, teacher, sex guru, all rolled into one.
For us, he is and will remain a slimy, fat, ugly bastard.



pissed off paparazzi said...

A small addition .....He is the last word in botany and zoology, our Big Boss swears.
A wild elephant in Mudumalai and a panther in Topslip ran for their lives when the poor creatures accidently came in front of the hippo duo, the fasto and Big B.
_ Lazybones

Anonymous said...

yeah you are right. He is the last word in medicine too. I heard the corpses of the wild jumbo and the panther were later retrieved from the jungles. Autopsy revealed that they had died of heart failure.

Anonymous said...

Wah! Wah! Everytime you surprise me with your intelligence E.C....
I should appreciate the kind of research you have put in to come out with this masterpiece... I'm still laughing away to glory :)